index > this thing is totally fuXzored. Who cares.

Nick Baker is a Blubbering Vagina (with appologies to Spike Milligan)

Adolf Hitler was sitting in the Fuhrerbunker thinking about decorating. The place was looking a bit grotty, that was for sure. Nothing that a lick of paint couldn't fix though.

"Himmler! Himmler!" cried Hitler, wrestling with his paintbrush, "Vat is dat smell? It smells like ze arseholes in here!"

"It is ze Jews, mine Furher!" said Himmler, bringing forth the paste bucket.

"Achtung!" said Hitler.

Suddenly Nick Baker walked into the room whistling 'wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice'.

"Nick Baker!" cried Hitler, headbutting him in the face.

"Ouch," said Nick Baker.

"Nick Baker!" said Hitler, kicking him viscously in the groin with a jackboot, "What is zat smell?"

"Ouch," said Nick Baker, cradling his crushed testicles.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Achtung! It is ze Russians!" said Himmler, eating his cyanide wall paper paste.

"I'll get it!" said Nick Baker, bounding away up the stairs, his mangled manhood forgotten in the excitement.

"NEIN!" screamed Hitler, biting his paintbrush in half.

"Are you Russians?" Nick Baker asked the two grannies at the door.

"No," they replied, "we are simple germans who have baked the Furher some cookies in the shape of giant cookies!"

"COOKIES!" screamed Nick Baker in delight, prancing around the place like a poof in a poof factory, "COOKIES HITLER! THEY HAVE BROUGHT COOKIES!"

"Only joking," said the two russians as they threw off their granny hats, "We bring you DEATH!"

"I blame ze Jews. And Nick Baker," said Hitler as he was cut in half by murderous machine gun fire.

"I haf glued mine mouth shut," said Himmler.


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