index > this thing is totally fuXzored. Who cares.


17 August 2005, 22.54 - update
well, kinda. people (read; one person) have / has been bugging me to actually make this website worth reading. Now, updating anything is a pest, so instead I'll write some words here about me and you can go away after reading them.

Hi! I'm Mallis. You may remember me as the guy who hangs around the DW forums making nick baker look like a total and utter batshit spastic. Alternatively, you may know me as the guy who ignores you on MSN messenger. If you're extremely blessed you may know me as the guy in the pub who had sex with your girlfriend / sister / mother. Sucker.

So, let's discuss the history of this webspace. Once it was a repository for a bunch of shit comics I made. Then it was a place where I posted chapters of my book. Then I accidently broke manc's code, and it turned into a blog that I updated twice in twelve months.

Welcome to the new, improved, super sexy website of Mallis. All Mallis, all the time. You could sit and stare at this webpage all day, read each word a hundred times and you'd still not have enough Mallis. I know your pain. I'm me, and there still isn't enough me to go around. I feel like crude oil, except less black and flammable. And less liquidy, and more sexy. So not much like crude oil at all, other than in the sense that I am a finite reasource constructed from the souls of dead fish.

So, what does the future hold? The book is dead, but reborn like a retarded phoneix. New plans are underfoot for my first published masterwork, and those plans shall become clearer as time marches on towards... death, or something.

Other things in the works are top secret project ***** **** **, a web magazine with myself and other weird souls, a story of mine published (possibly on real paper, can you imagine?) and my eternal quest to get laid on a more regular, nay, fequent basis. I've heard that eating Kellogg's All-Bran helps with this.

So, welcome to Mallis Lives. Check it out.

05 August 2005, 00.26 - Bow down before my awesome
Hurrah, new website. Everything is broken. Maybe I will fix it. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll piss in your mouth and make you gargle.

Maybe baby, just maybe.




site copyright 2005 according to some convention or whatever.
ditto with the content. I find my shit elsewhere without permission
and I'll snap your fucking legs.

<3 mancunet